PUZZLE

Eross' Journal: Entry 2

So after we kicked the giant’s ass, he was pretty cool. He collected a ton of corn (probably literally), and THEN WE GOT SHOT BY SOME IDIOT WITH AN AUTOMATIC CROSSBOW. If you are reading this, and you are from the future, and Eross the Mighty is long gone, there is really only one thing you must know about crossbows: no one could use them as well as Eross. When people try to be fancy and buy some shitty, crazy-dangerous crossbows, they shoot all of the good guys ‘accidentally’ with tranqs, and send them into some trippy dream sequence. Which, speaking of dreams, I had a pretty awesome one. EROSSES GALORE!!! There was also a big tree that was like everlasting or something. Anyway, the Erosses were awesome—we were shuffling towards the tree thing, and then I look up and I’m like, “Holy crap, who are these sexy men?!” That’s right, it was me—all me. Then they were like, “Dude, what’s on your arm?” And there was nothing on my arm, so I didn’t freak out. But then there was only one of me left when I looked up. For the first time I could feel my own presence; his beauty overtook me, as I’m sure it overtakes others when I’m around. He was marked, though, in his shoulder area. Kind of like the damn mark He-Who-Is-An-Asshole gave me, but not really at all. Then Eross 2 peaced out when I woke up from that crazy dream. So when I wake up, it turns out that we all had this dream. Everyone talked about theirs except for The Stranger, who looked sad for once. KURO made something up about the dreams, but was obviously totally wrong. Anyway shit happened, and we had to defend David from a HUGE MEGA GIANT THAT EVEN DWARFED DAVID. So everyone was doing a pretty good job. It goes without saying that I tactically waited in the shadows, sniping the giant to the ground. Kyu did some crazy shit with teleportation for once. FINALLY. Ever did his thing with nature and shit. I’m really starting to like this guy’s style. He’s always giving me chances to crap on the enemies. The Stranger and KURO were kicking ass and taking names. So, the usual party stuff. Eventually the foxes knocked the mega giant out with the cannons which I didn’t mention earlier, because I could have taken the mega giant by myself, but whatever. Also Kyu’s totally-cool, chick-magnet device, the Eye Face Monocle, was totally fine and awesome. But actually, the complete reverse of that entire sentence is true. That shit was dunzo. Then Ever poured a potion on it, AND IT SIZZLED. HAHAHAHA, THAT WAS HILARIOUS. It’s a blessing and a curse really. On one hand, we won’t have vital, game-changing enemy information anymore. On the other, we won’t have to be seen with Kyu with that stupid thing on his face anymore. Pretty much even in my opinion. We later found out that the mega giant is the giant’s mom. He was grounded, and he let us beat her up. AND THEY CALL ME A BAD SON.

  • Twitchy, the fox with the repeating crossbows, shot the party with tranquilizer bolts, because he has a terrible trigger finger.
  • The Tree was described as: 1) always having stood at its present height, 2) having leaves that never wither and disappear before hitting the ground, and 3) the Tree is healthy and plentiful.
  • There were nine main branches, three of which pointed directly in Eross’ direction. The other six were similarly clustered in threes pointing left and right.
  • The Tree is very tall.
  • The rest of the party had similar dreams, KURO’s involved the gods dancing, Kyu’s involved scholars, Ever’s involved nothing, and we are unsure about the The Stranger’s. We believe it involved his grandfather.
  • The party was tasked by Giomustachio with keeping David’s mother at bay until the fox workers could get the cannons set up. We had to survive for 10 turns, while keeping David conscious.
  • Eross did not snipe the giant to the ground. He actually didn’t do very much damage at all.
  • It was mostly the rest of the party, especially Ever and Kyu, that did a lot of the work.

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olimay rosscalimlim

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